Dairy Products i will never buy Part III/drinks that are bad ideas Part II

I know i promised the malt liquor review but this is some stop the presses gross dairy stuff.
Currently being tested in New York IN THE FUCKING SUMMER, a fizzy milk based soda pop with cutting edge graphic design (hilarious Anchorman jokes aside milk really is awful in hot weather. trust me). Fizzy milk is already an idea that makes my stomach clench up then adding fruit flavors to said fizzy milk makes me want to just get it all over with and preemptively vomit just so whatever else i ate or drank does not mix with Vio on the way out. And once again i am left wondering, How do you not spoil little milk drink? Have you made a pact with the devil and somewhere in an attic there is a portrait of you getting more and more curdled by the day?
Whatever the answer i am counting myself out on this one.

Hey! flickr, art/sociology students, tourists.

Just stop. For gods sake. No more "artistic" photos of homeless people, and definitely no "studies" on them anymore. i am calling it off.
Thanks Chris for the idea for the image! And thank you photoshop for being magick.

Dairy products i will never buy Part II

Why of course i am thirsty barkeep that is why i entered your establishment in the first place.
Try something new? Well sure variety is the spice of life they say!
Well it sure is thick, and creamy, what is it made of my good man?
Oh, cream.
And it's alcoholic?
I don't mean to tell you how to do your job sir but does that not mean that this cream is FUCKING SPOILED.
ew. As most of you well know i fucking love ireland. But there was some real hard-up drunk bastard in the past who had a ton of sugar and rotten milk and just needed to get wasted no matter the explosive diarrheal costs. And Baileys was born that stomach churning, headache bringing night.
That being said; if it is 3 in the morning i would probably drink this, but never buy it. i have standards but i live by that old idiom "standards were made to be broken" or whatever.
Next up! The first annual Summer Malt Liquor Review!