The warmer, softer, comfier face of crippling depression

It might just be me but snuggies feel like you have just really gone and given up on life. And unlike a ponytail which just shows your contempt for the world (or the need to play sports whilst sporting long hair; read, contempt for the world) snuggies seems like a dark sad sad place that you may never come out of and you do not care who knows it. Oh i know what you might say "Why Seth it is merely a backwards bathrobe. Surely there can be no harm in that? We all love bathrobes."

Loving bathrobes i will not dispute with you "friend" but the purpose of a snuggy is to be able to do things around the house while never leaving the comfort of your banky or bank bank or whatever the hell you called your blanket as an infant who didnt know how words worked. This regression to adult-child state is uncalled for. And it gets gross when you add spilled dairy products, salsa, coffee, jam, crumbs, tears, soda, toothpaste, fruits, blood, veggies that have been cooked too long, cigarette ash, chutney, beer, embalming fluid, you get the picture. So not only are you stewing in your own juices on the inside (gross, i know but i am TRYING TO MAKE A POINT) you have a nice fleecy outer layer soaking through and marinating your sad body from the outside. Also you look like an overgrown child playing in your dads clothes, or if you are a child you look like a child wearing a snuggy so thats two strikes.
All of this snuggy-hatin' just comes back to the fact that i do not like the way polar fleece looks, ever. Vests, North Face jackets, Patagonia, San Francisco jackets that all the tourists end up wearing because they think they are going to california and it won't be cold. All of them just look silly and kind of like pajamas, and pajamas are not to be worn out of the home even to the airport and especially if they say Juicy on the butt (gross, i know but i am trying to make a point).
SO lets wrap up todays opinion. 1. No snuggies, have some self respect that keeps you warm and comfrotable too (Note: The author only KIND OF thinks this, like maybe 35-40%.For warmth and comfort see malt liquor posts first.) 2. No fleece unless absolutely necessary. 3. Pants with words on the butt kind of make me queasy, and not in the good first date way but in the i might need to throw up soon way.

That smile never touched her eyes trust me.


You Look Stupid inside!

You look stupid outside too!

Snuggies supports bad parenting.